Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Is it right?




It is impossible to tell the number of people who have been sexually molested in their lifetime.    Because rapes are rarely reported, the statistics are skewed, but I believe the numbers are much higher than we think.

Sexual abuse is an epidemic in this country.  Now that the subject is in front of us, we may as well discuss it.  Until the 1990’s that made it less so, a rape was a shameful act, one a woman would secretly live with – her entire life.  The stigma was turned on the woman if she came forth, and girls learned early in life to keep their secrets secret.


The memories of abuse do not stop with the woman,  she carries it into her family.  Much like the soldier brings his war home to his family; a woman will unwittingly expose her trauma to her children.

In his book, Dr. van der Kolk describes a study that began in 1986 and lasted for 20 years.  Two groups of 11-year-old girls, one group no sexual abuse (group A); the other sexual abuse (group B); proved insight into the biology of molestation. Psychological and physiological markers kept track of the girls’ stress levels.1

One of the tests asked each girl to describe the most stressful thing that had happened to her in the past year.   At year 1, both groups showed distress over that experience. 

At year 3, the girls in group A had no problem recounting the most stressful event in the past year and were able to quickly rewind and calm down.  The girls in group B were shut-down and numb.   

As her body adjusted to the chronic trauma, no one; parents, teachers, even the girl herself; was aware that she was still terrified from her rape.1

The girls in Group B had few friendships, and during adolescence had tumultuous and fiery friendships with the boys.  The researchers found problems consistent with trauma:

·         Cognitive function deficits
·         Depression
·         Dissociation
·         Trouble with sexual development
·         Early sexual development 
·         High rates of obesity
·         Self-mutilation
·         Increased high-school dropout rates
·         Many illnesses and health-care visits
·         Psychiatric diagnosis unrelated to trauma

This is how the cycle of abuse continues:  


A traumatic experience, such as rape, is never forgotten.  Even though numbing and dumbing cover up the pain, and the experience is lost from conscious memory, we store the experience in our bodies and in our behaviors.  

Parents who are dealing with their own traumatic memories will have inconsistent parenting skills and be emotionally absent from their child.1 

Attachment issues arise, and as the child grows and learns to function on her own, without the parent, she finds it difficult to connect with others.  Lack of belonging leads to psychological problems, and here we go, around and around, to where? 

More abuse.  Violence.  Anger.  Hate.

Here is our perfect opportunity to bring the consequences of sexual abuse out to the light.  To solve the problems in our country, we must begin to care about the mental well-being of our people.  And the best way to do that is to recognize that parents are struggling to raise their children and give them a helping hand.


“Economists have calculated that every dollar invested in high-quality home visitation, daycare, and preschool programs results in seven dollars of saving on welfare payments, health-care costs, substance-abuse treatment, and incarceration, plus higher tax revenues due to better-paying jobs.”

~Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.~1


We can debate the accuracy of the statistics of rape victims in this country, and whether the charges are credible or not, but we cannot undervalue the importance of caring for our children.  What parent would refuse a helping hand; from a refrigerator full of food - to a raise at their job?  Or a social service system that keeps families together instead of punishment for bad behavior.

It is clear our country needs to change its mindset about what we expect from our citizens.  And what we can do for them.

This year, vote with your heart.  Listen to your conscious.

Vote for the people who you know will stick up for families.  People who do not condone mistreatment and dishonesty.

Above all.  Vote for what is right.  




Please click here to encourage your Congressional representatives to do the same.

The Department of Justice Facts and Statistics on Rape



1van der Kolk, B. M.D. (2014).  The body keeps the score.  Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma.  NY.  Penguin Books.





www.cwpickett.com








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